A relationship cannot survive on its own. It needs to be cared for and nurtured by two people. If one person doesn't make an effort, then it's not going to work in the long-run.
Breakups are hard, but you don't be so hard on yourself. Maybe it was just not meant to be. Personally, I'm been through a couple of breakups. Here's some of the ways I've found that has helped me through the hard times.
What should I do after a breakup?
1. Let out your emotions: it's totally ok to cry or be angry, don't hold in your negative emotions.
Cry your eyes out: listening to sad/breakup songs
Let out your anger: - Find someone you are close to (finding a mutual friend of you and your ex is NOT a good idea) and complain about your ex - If you need to hit something, find a pillow or something that you can hit and you won't get hurt
2. Stay at home: when you are at home, there are some things you are do to deal with the breakup
Write about how you feel: keep a diary and write in it each night before going to bed. It helps to write things down and you will sleep better!
Listen to happy songs: Thank U, Next / Love Yourself
Throw away things that remind you of the person: throw away gifts/photos (if you are someone like me, I'm a bit nostalgic (=like to keep things from the past) you can put it away in a box and in the furthest corner of closet/under your bed
3. Try something new: be willing to experience new things
Try a new cuisine/dish/recipe: if you love cooking like me, trying a new recipe takes some time to prepare and make. If you can't cook, you can try baking!
Go shopping: try on new clothes and try on a different style. Make some changes!
Try out a new class: I tried out boxing class, something I wanted to do a long time ago, and being allowed to punch someone constantly felt SO good XD
4. Lean on loved ones: it is ok to rely on other people to get your life back together. Whether it is your best friend, good colleague, or your sibling, they are there to support you!
Call a close friend: connect with a friend and talk to them (it doesn't have to be about your ex). It's ok to cry if you feel like it
Hang out with friends/family: spending time with loved ones can help to take your mind off your ex
5. Enjoy being alone: this is something that may be hard to do if you are used to doing everything with your other half, but this is something that needs to be learned
Watch TV at home and drink red wine
Read a book at a nice coffee shop
Plan a solo trip: sometimes going on a trip by yourself will bring you small surprises. Things that you wouldn't get to experience if you are traveling with other people (I was in Italy that time, ask me about it in class ;))
Here's a to-do list, you can give yourself a goal to finish this check-list within 30 days : )
I didn't end up finishing my list, but this really helped to get me through.
1. Drink red wine & watch a romantic movie
2. Treat yourself to a nice restaurant
3. Make a dessert after work for the whole night
4. Take the bus to the beach
5. Go to the spa alone to relax
6. Enjoy a concert by yourself
7. Picnic after a bike, bring sandwiches & fruits
8. Read a book at a nice cafe one afternoon
9. Bring a camera to a new place you discovered
10. Join a new class
11. Challenge yourself & try a new recipe
12. Decorate your room for a whole day
13. Watch a movie, go to a bookstore, & visit an art gallery
14. Go to a clothing store & try out "a lot" of new clothes
15. Do something crazy!
Hope you find this helpful and feel free to talk to me about it if you need to.
Using a second-language (English) may help you think in a rational way. This is because it is a less emotional way compared to talking in your native tongue. You really need to think about HOW to express your feelings.
↘ Which method do you agree with? Comment below! If you have other ways that you would like to share about dealing with a breakup, share below! ↙
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